Exercises in Futility

Gas Station


Sometimes my brain just works against me. It could be considered “creative block” but I really do not believe in that stuff. Its more likely forces within me working or conspiring to defeat my creativity. Ah. a plot! That is more like it. Well its not really a plot either. I don’t believe in that stuff—that is what we call paranoia. So it goes like this. My mind is always looking for new ideas. sometimes they come quite fluidly, and at other times there is nothing at all. Since I need an enemy, my superego is as good as one as any so that is what I can settle on.

Enough of the psychobabble—this is a story! I have been coming up dry lately. Everywhere I go I seem to find nothing, and my mind keeps telling me that “there is nothing here.” But I know that is crap. If one reads the work of any great author, reads the writings of any great artist, or photographer, there is always this basic truth. Good ideas can be found anywhere—all you have to do is see it. So that is what I have been doing lately. Going out and seeing and you know what¿ there are things out there to be seen. This was a walk along Dixie highway near Lake Worth. Of course my fucking brain was trying to convince me that some pastoral landscape was what I was really looking for, and of course they do not exist in such a populated state as Florida. That was the trick you see. I was looking for something that wasn’t there and in my head I found it—nothing. Once I saw through this—what I was really looking for was America as it exists today and that is what I found with this guy sitting (or actually blending in) with the “All American Gas Station.” Once I realized that beautiful landscapes did not exist (at least where I was) I could simply look at something else and  make it happen. I will never ever be sure why this happens to me but one thing is true, once I realize this deceit, its over, I can continue on a straighter path.

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